Penny Wise and Pound Foolish

Penny wise and pound foolish. That’s how to describe people who pinch their pennies while they let million dollar opportunities fly by.

Last night when I showed up at the church I expected to see 75 people for homeless outreach. I saw 4 people. I was pissed. I was really pissed. It’s always the same people who do all the work. I go from church to church and pastors tell me that it’s the same handful who do all the work while the other 99% do nothing and complain.

I waited over an hour hoping and praying that more people would show up. Nobody showed else showed up.

We went downtown and met with hundreds of homeless people. We ran out of food and supplies quickly. There were a lot more families on the streets this time around as the economy has turned sour. One man didn’t even have shoes. Someone stole them them at the shelter. At least we had fresh socks to give him. One man didn’t have teeth and so he couldn’t eat much of the food we had for him, we’ll remember to bring softer things for next time.

Last time we were out some people requested peanut butter and jelly so we REMEMBERED that and brought it around for them this time. Thank you team!

These same people who never ever show up for volunteer work are always the ones crying out that God doesn’t answer their prayers, that they are always suffering, that they need a miracle from God. Gee I wonder why they never get their blessings. These are the same people who always remember that there is a dinner meeting after church. They always remember the free BBQ’s and the free pizza parties. They are never absent from free food nights, they never forget those. The bible says that these people will be cast into hell. That’s all I have to say in the matter.

Helping Sarah Move

Happy birthday Canada!

Last week I was worried. My cellphone was not on for 5 full days because I hadn’t loaded money on it (it’s prepaid) and I was waiting for Sarah to call me regarding helping her move. Also I had no money for gas and the gas light was on. Saturday afternoon I paid the cell phone and got it turned on, filled the gas tank ($57 LOL) and paid my self-storage fees which were overdue. I was hopeful that I didn’t miss out on an opportunity to help a new friend. I was more upset about missing out on that opportunity than I was about not having money.

I worked till around 1, then I left to do my errands. At 2pm I was at Sarah’s. Paul was there also. I figured it would take about 2 hours. It took 8.

I got there and we started loading things into the car. I figured 2 or 3 trips. It took about 6 trips to Sarah’s, 2 to Paul’s, 1 to Sarah’s dad’s. Moving is always hard work, and I know how hard it is so that’s why I’m helping a near stranger move. It’s important for me to do this.

The first trip we met Sarah’s landlord. We moved in some stuff then went back to load more stuff into my car, which is a compact car but really has a lot of space. We had some good conversations, but an especially good one when we took a break for about 30 minutes while waiting for the new landlord to come back home from running some errands. We talked about some of our favourite hobbies including film making. Sarah and Paul like Anime and I’m not certain what that is.

Actually, before I forgot – I only just met Paul and Sara like 2 weeks ago. Also I found out that Paul used to go to my old church and we were both scammed by the same person and I told him that even though he lost more money than I did, I was screwed over just as much because I was left with a bad reputation.

We went to Paul’s house to deliver a gecko lizard, which I held in my hands. Yes, I Asif held a lizard in my hand. Paul has an awesome bedroom with drums and a computer and a tv with video games. He used to clean out houses and some of the things he’s found from the abandoned ones include ammunition, a sniper scope and a spent rocket, I won’t lie, seeing shotgun shells in his room didn’t bother me but I was a bit taken aback by the rocket even though it was disarmed.

Sarah and I drove to her dad’s house, even though it was a short drive away (and it was now dark) it felt like we were up north in cottage country. We lugged the bed and another (much nicer) desk up a what seemed like endless stairs.

We were all so exhausted!

We drove back, picked up Paul and then I dropped them off at Paul’s house. I drove straight to Lick’s but they were closed as soon as I walked in so I settled for Macdonalds.

I thanked God for giving me such an opportunity to help my new friends and I consider it good will to help someone who would have otherwise struggled really hard to move on their own. I know what that’s like. I really know what’s that like.

Today I’m just back to work as normal, actually it’s a holiday but yeah – I feel better doing at least a few hours of work.

I slept really well last night. Like, really well.

Plain Truths

Have I said this before? If I invite everyone to a pizza party, everyone will show up. If I invite everyone to do volunteer work, just a handful of people will show up. People will rearrange their schedules for free pizza, but they won’t for ministry work. People will lie to their bosses and say they are sick for a party, but they won’t to do God’s work. This is why TV Evangelists use gimmicks, people are bored with plain truths.

Finally

This week, I made more progress at my work projects than I did in all of 2007 and 2006 combined.

There

Tipping point, that’s what I said last time isn’t it? I’m still there, closer and closer each day.

Almost

I’m almost there, almost at that tipping point where progress starts.

Light

Last night there was a lightning storm unlike anything I’ve seen in my life. At one point I saw a flash of lightening so close to me and so incredible I jumped (really) into my car! I was laughing afterwards but wow! I was at the convenience store at Rockhill and Brandongate, a place I’ve been shopping at since we moved to Malton in the 80’s.

Silence Is Medicine

I was at a breaking point yesterday, stressed and frustrated so much. I took a long 4 hour drive up north, ending up in the town of Shelbourne and then spending most of my time in Mono. I found a nice orange dirt road and took it south. It was so winding I was scared the car wouldn’t make it, after all I haven’t replaced the tires as yet and they are on their last treads. I can’t afford to replace them right now, I can barely afford the gas I used for the drive, but I really needed it and it was good therapy for me.

There was a massive rain storm during my ride home and it was so much fun to be on those picturesque single lane roads deep in the forest. I could stick my hand out the window and touch trees.

Opinions Change

There are fat people who hate skinny people. They think it’s an injustice. When they get skinny their opinion changes.

There are poor people who hate rich people. They think it’s an injustice. When they get rich their opinion changes.

There are people in bad situations who hate people who are in good situations. When their situation changes their opinion changes.

Everyone Can Give Birth

You know that feeling when you are about to give birth spiritually to something and you are so excited, frustrated, anticipating, anxious and happy and sad all at the same time? That’s where I am right now. I have the biggest business project I’ve ever done in my life sitting in front of me, and I’m trying my best to do everything at once. If it was all I had on my plate, that would be fine, I could focus, but I have so many other things going on. Time for a few more pushes.

Progress

7 people signed up for homeless outreach. 3 of them showed, plus another 9 who didn’t sign up which was a pleasant surprise. We went to a church in Toronto for orientation (which was a mistake, I should have just trained them myself) then went downtown and split up into groups. Giving out food and supplies to the homeless and talking to them, trying to give them hope for the present and future. Some of the homeless hid in the corners of ally’s and bushes and others were bold and put themselves on the sidewalk. Some didn’t even have sleeping bags or blankets. Some stored away our food for later and others gobbled it up right away. When we got back some of the group thanked me and asked if they could come along more often. Progress.

A Good Foundation Was Laid Today

I feel invigorated this week. A major work project is finally started and I feel good about it. I haven’t felt this good about a work project since 1995 so I’m putting all my energy into it. Like it’s a time for new good things.

Babies Require Less Attention

So last week I got a flat tire, it really frustrates me because that car sure takes a whole lot of my time, like a new born baby. I prefer babies.

Tidbits

Extraordinary people have extraordinary lives. They get into extraordinary problems and have extraordinary victories.

No Proof Yet

I feel like I’m finally starting to move forward little by little. I don’t have any actual evidence yet but I bet God does.

Kill Bill Part 1

If you haven’t seen the movie Kill Bill (part 1) yet, you’re silly.

There’s this part in the movie where the main character has been beaten and left for dead – in fact everyone thought she was dead. In the scene, she has to regain all her strength (she can’t even move her body) and wants to exact revenge against her enemy, Bill. But before she can do that, she has to go through dozens of important missions and levels to get to him. The first step: wiggle her toe. She knows that if she can wiggle her toe, she can regain control of her entire body and move forward toward her final goal.

Some of you have never been there – but I have. I’ve been there several times in life where I have no resources and no hope and no progress except for the ‘ability to wiggle my toe’. But it’s the start of something grand.

My New Friend John

After church I met a man in a wheelchair named John, who at this time is 85 years old and has been married 2 months shy of 64 years with his wife. He stopped me in the parking lot, out of the many other people and struck up a conversation. He gave me a booklet with his testimony and I read it, very inspiring! He reads the bible from cover to cover every month now that he’s retired. He even invited me to his home to have bible studies with him and his friends and family.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

So Friday night I was at the movies, I watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall with popcorn and a soda. The movie was hilarious and the theatre was very crowded, I ended up sitting beside a group of friends on one side and a cute girl on a date on the other side.

My Old Friend Gabriel

We had about 300+ people for service and I know some of them made decisions to serve God in a greater way. We usually have about 75 but this was a special event. Saturday and Sunday I did lots and lots and lots of chores. Yesterday I cleaned up the car, made it shiny and new looking, it took hours to clean the interior but I also fixed up some broken items and replaced things that needed to be. It really looks good on the inside now.

Gabriel and I had a chance to talk yesterday after about 8 years. LOL. He just walked right up to me. I met Gabriel not long after I gave my life to Christ and we went camping together with our church group back in like 1999 or something in Bancroft. We had to drag him kicking and screaming but he had a good time, I still have photos of the trip. He moved back to Newfoundland and spent many months in the hospital because he had tumours growing on his spine. It’s so odd to know people and then have them disappear for years only to see them again and then hear their extraordinary stories of survival and faith. Because there were so many people I couldn’t talk to him for very long and I’m afraid I didn’t get his contact information properly so I hope to see him again soon.

Few And Far Between

Since great days are few and far between I figured I should write this one down. I was checking my email this morning and besides the usual I received an email from a fellow pastor I look up to, asking for my help. I’ve been working with this group since 2006 and I’ve been asked to step things up a bit. You know my plan – get them involved in reaching out to the community, feeding the homeless, sharing their faith with strangers and missions. Young adults are not easy so I appreciate this opportunity.

Disappointed At Myself

Disappointment. I sit here at my desk and stare out the window. I can see the Westwood Mall, Petro Canada gas station and hundreds of people going about their lives. Around 9am, 11:30am and 3pm I see thousands of school children of all ages walking by, talking, laughing, fighting, crying. Black kids calling each other n****** and drug dealers trying to gain new customers.

I’m also trying to gain new customers which isn’t easy in a hurting economy. People are trying to scale back not scale up.

Anyway I’m just in a state of limbo in some important areas. I feel like I’m moving along really well in some areas like my spirit life, my schooling. But my work life is the same old crap. I’m the most frustrated with myself I guess.

Singing In The Snow

So I’ve had the flu the last few days and I’ve been having a hard time keeping up with my chores. Tonight is Shan’s last night here, she’ll move out tomorrow morning, actually all her stuff is already moved. Another roommate moved out last week and a new roommate will move in the week after next so I’ll enjoy some peace and quiet while I can. There’s a nice little snow storm on right now, big fat snowflakes covering everything and I like walking around in the snow fall.

The Sun Is Shining In My Eyes

Last night I was fighting off the flu (I think) so I slept for 12 hours. This morning around 7:30am one of my annoying roommates was banging on my bedroom door. Instead of telling them to get lost I just chuckled and got up. I have a sore throat. My moustache is too bushy. The sun is shining in my eyes. It’s chilly. I have intermittent fevers. I’m covered in bedbug bites. My life is sucky right now.

Enjoying My Weekends Again

Yesterday I took gramma and to walmart and then the flea market, it was nice to see her walking around and enjoying herself.

The Car Will Start When It Wants To So Buzz Off!

It’s been one week with the car, now granted it wouldn’t start on Saturday, Sunday I needed to get a boost, Tuesday it wouldn’t start, Wednesday I needed to get a boost, and now the weather is warmer and it starts most of the time. My neighbour’s car wouldn’t start and he asked me for a boost and I told him I need someone to give me a boost first lol.

Even with the dying battery (I’ll replace it as soon as I can afford it) it’s been uplifting to have a car, even if its simply parked. I even hooked up the stereo properly (there’s a stereo in the dash that hasn’t been hooked up properly), but not the radio cause the antenna wire is destroyed.

Now If I had some more money I could go somewhere, lol!