On April 5 I treated myself to the movies, The Hills Have Eyes 2.

At this stage, I’m helping so many kids with college, and doing so much missions work, I’ll be bankrupt in short order. I’ll have to cut back on this, and at the same time I have to be careful how much I cut because I’ve been working with some of these kids for 10 years promising to one day help them with college. It’s just a lot of pressure on me during a very tough time.

My income is still dropping rapidly this year, I thought last year was bad but this year is several times worst. Last year I barely barely broke even, this year I’m so far in the red it’s insane. I’ve lost over $1,000,000 so far this year. A lot of the payments I’m receiving are bouncing, and for the first time in a long time one of the cheques I wrote bounced. I couldn’t believe it and I was so embarrassed when I found out. For the first time in a long time, I’m borrowing money. The last time I borrowed large sums of money would have been 1997. My credit cards are almost completely maxed out and few of my clients aren’t paying me on completed projects because they themselves are struggling.

Out of control – that’s what this year is so far. Very few things are working right no matter how hard I try and every time I get a nice big success it gets taken away a few days later with losses.

My camera store is turning sour. It was sour when I bought it, and I thought I would turn it around but I’ve made things worst. One of my courier shipments came in completely destroyed. The courier handed it to me like nothing was wrong. The box was almost completely smashed. He told me to file an insurance claim. Another shipment I sent out is gone without a trace. Yes there’s a tracking number but the system just shows that it’s been stuck in transit for some weeks. I’m at my wits end.