“The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” – John 3:8 (Jesus speaking)
The above scripture is one of my favorites, right out of the mouth of Jesus, in front of witnesses. I used to doodle this everywhere. This scripture has caused me to have many problems and wild adventures.
Today I am thinking about a girl named Sarah who was born 4 years ago. She was born premature and when she was 2 weeks old she was sooo tiny. I don’t remember if I mentioned this before before but her grandma brought her to church (she simply couldn’t wait to show everyone her beautiful new granddaughter). On that day she asked me to hold her in the sanctuary and I was soo afraid. I had plenty of experience with babies but never held a baby so small. I held her in both palms of my hands as if I had just scooped up some water. I was so nervous, but happy. Sarah fit perfectly in my hands.
Nowadays shes 4 years old, and when I talk to her she smiles and buries her face in her cute little hands. Once in a while when she’s not feeling shy she’ll jump on me and smother me in kisses. :o)
Remembering what it felt like to hold a miracle in my hands, makes me want to press on, to see new miracles. I am desperate for them. Desperate.
The first half of 2001 has been tumultuous. (First time I’ve ever
used the word tumultuous). January-Feb started with gigantic momentum,
I mean every day was a non stop amazing rollercoaster ride.
I work during the day, do a full course load, and then try to pack in a few hours of hard ministry work. At the end of the day I would just curl up on my sofa (which I purchased in Jan from Ikea after 6 months of saving) and watch tv.
Before Jan, I really lived in my bedroom. Infact, since I became a teen I started doing everything in my bedroom. I would eat there, and hang out there. I had
a small tv and radio so it was cool. I finally moved my stuff out to the rest of the apartment and got furniture this year. It was a fun transition. Still growing up.
I got a candle a few days ago, and while it was burning I thought how nice it would be to have some incense. So I took some montreal steak seasoning and poured
it into the ditch at the top of the fat candle. Ummm, I figured it would fill the house with the gentle smell of steak.
Instead the spices caught on fire and really messed up the candle. The candle looks like it went through serious torture (dont worry, this candle contains no animal products). So much for my bright ideas.
As I was saying, Jan and Feb were months in which I took on a lot of things, too much in fact. Anyway, March came around and things began to slow down to the point where I could breath again. Not for long though. I was satisfied with Jan and Feb. It was, a legacy. People from all over still call asking about it. I’d rather close that chapter, and begin writing a new one.
I am left drained. March was the beginning of trouble that I could not handle.
I knew it. God warned me so many times earlier. I still cant handle it.
Its not that I took the warnings as a joke, and I’ve learned never to consider
a joke, what so many warn about. Especially what God warns about.
I guess maybe it was just something that I thought could never happen.
I’ve always wondered about people who said they prayed for ‘hours at a time’.
Now I’m one of them, and its not so hard to believe. May started off very well and went well until the middle of the month and crashed. In June my spiritual growth
took a huge upswing.
Sometimes I think about moving somewhere quiet. Like Prince Edward Island. Maybe I’ve watched too much Road to Avonlea?
A few nights ago, I was logging into scribble and saw someones scribble entitled “looking for a sign” so I checked it out, and messaged the guy on AOL. Anyway it turns out hes a christian and he loves this girl at his church but is kinda having trouble with his relationship with her. He got his sign. I was his sign. Brian, keep me updated ok?
I was praying about if I should move or not, and that same minute my landlord slipped a letter under my door. It said that his inlaws, who recently moved upstairs are cramping his style, and with his 3rd baby on the way he needs the basement apartment for the inlaws, and that if possible, he would like me to move by the end of July. I’ll miss all the fun I’ve had here. The time my glasses fell in the toilet, the time I had 3 mice here and I had to tuck my pants into my socks till I got them, and of course, all the other fun stuff. I really grew here, but now I need new soil for a while.
I’m not poetic..and I don’t make the best first impressions, but you’ll find that I am completely genuine. I hate when nobody is at my disposal when I’m usually at every ones disposal. I am disappointed in the lack of availability of everyone who I used to help. To many people I associate with on a regular basis know me as some sort of super-guy. I go out of my way for my friends and when I need help with something, I can’t get a return call.
It’s not all bad though. I remember when Stephenie beat the crap out of me (figuratively) in 1999 because I told her I won’t go to college. She wouldn’t let it drop, she forced me to go. You know that feeling when you have a lump in your throat that feels it can weigh down your whole body? That’s the kind of lecture she gave me. I signed up the same day. I haven’t even graduated high school yet and the college has no clue. I’ll have to get my GED soon.
Although I’m too old, I often think about going back to high school. How long would it take for me to lead everyone to Jesus? How many lives could be saved in one school year? I wish Christian teens would think this way, but I don’t think they can, they already have too much on their plate.
A few months ago I went to the museum with a local school (they asked me to come help supervise) and Amber says to me ‘Asif, everyone want to be in your group’. I told her, “why didn’t this happen to me when I was in high school?”