Jesus Explains These People Will Go To Hell

Lazy. Slothful. People who are Christians, yet don’t have their priorities straight. A bit into this and a bit into that and not good at anything in particular. If God asked them to do something they would be too busy doing nothing.

December 18 2008

Sometimes the person I hate the most in the world is myself.

4 letters can describe this situation can you guess what they are?

This week I received 4 letters in the mail congratulating me on my approval for 4 different car financing / purchases. A fifth letter came apologizing for a decline for my car financing application. Problem is, I haven’t applied for any of these.


2001 has been a year of adventure for me. Too much adventure. Way too much. My life has never been normal in any sense but this year has been simply too much. I watched a movie called Lord of the Rings with my friends and I’m sitting there thinking “big deal, same thing happened to me.”

Another New Chapter

Yay, when my good friends found out that I was looking for a place to stay for a while (actually more so that I really need a place), they simply showed up at my door with their mini van. Several other people offered for me to stay with them, actually several others were fighting to get me to stay with them. Almost overwhelming me with kindness. LOL. Sometimes you forget the kind of favor you have.

Ottawa Adventures 4

In Guyana and the Carribean, there is a saying that “if you can’t hear, then you have to feel.”

My current diet consists of hot peppers. So I’m feeling.

Whenever I can get a few bucks together I go to Carlingwood Mall for a giant pretzels which is my favorite snack, and manchu woks which is now a very rare treat. A few days ago I purchased a loaf of bread with my pennies.

I say all this not to feel sorry for myself, but to remind myself of a much needed purge in my life. I feel like I need to be here, to do this, for a short while longer.

I went with my friend Melissa to pickup her 5 year old sister Margaret from school, Margaret is the tiniest 5 year old I’ve ever seen, she showed me that she can fit neatly inside her own backpack. Margaret has since been coming over to my apartment to play and entertain me with her fun jokes and games.

I find the teens in Ottawa rather rude. And there seem to be a lot of biker gang people especially close to the border of Quebec. I don’t know if any of this is true, but I’m stating how it seems to me.

There are rumors that what happened on September 11 will trigger a big war, which I hope it doesn’t. As much as I want America to figure out who did this and get them, I know that if it was really Muslim terrorists who did it, America needs to know that any war with them will be long, like really long. Religion is one of most long lasting fuels there is, and brute force can’t overcome it.

Ottawa is really cold. And I’m very discouraged and fighting off the flu and things just aren’t working out for me. I don’t remember what I was expecting here, any progress I make gives me no satisfaction.

Ottawa Adventures 3

Ottawa is way more relaxed in pace than Mississauga, I find myself moving slower, enjoying my meals instead of pushing food down my throat. I take leisurely walks. I sit down with people and have conversations. Okay, okay, so I did these things in Mississauga to, so I guess I don’t know what I’m talking about.

I went to Carlingwood Mall to get a giant pretzel and on the way home down Carling Avenue I saw a man beating up a woman so I started to run towards them to save her, but then the woman started beating up the man, and she beat him pretty good. I didn’t know what to do, I was so dumbfounded. As it turns out, they were a couple having a fight that had turned ugly. Anyway, since she clearly won the fight I went on home.

There’s a new kind of internet called high speed and it’s really cool. There is no need to use my 36.6k modem, and the internet is always on and really super fast. TD Jakes has a website and so I watch him there plus Jack Van Impe and John Hagee.

I was invited to a dinner party with some friends (My friend Mel is one of 13 biological siblings) and I learned to play Dutch Blitz. Ottawa is starting to get really cold and I’m starting to get discouraged. It’s not what I thought it would be. I did this for my own health and well being but I feel like maybe this wont do it.

Ottawa Adventures 2

I’ve lived in Malton most of my life, so I’m used to people offering me drugs and young prostitutes when I go outside. I usually hear gunshots and people screaming “call 911”. Ottawa is different, but also the same. There are a lot of new immigrants here. Just like in Malton. But Malton has a lot of brown immigrants and Ottawa seems to have a lot of black immigrants. I live near a mall called Carlingwood which is similar to the Westwood mall except I bet nobody has been stabbed hear recently.

Ottawa has been a “detox” for me in a certain way. It’s a different scene, even though I have 2-3 friends here that I see regularly. My day usually involves prayer, work, school (through distance education) and sharing my faith with people. Financially I’m not doing so well. My diet is potatoes and bread.

Last night I took a walk and couldn’t believe what I saw. An elderly man, maybe in his 70’s, mowing his lawn in a full tuxedo while wife watches and yells at him. I don’t know what he did to her. Maybe he didn’t put down the toilet seat? Maybe he lost a bet with her? I just hope I don’t end up like him.

On September 11 2001 I was doing my work at my desk, and as is my custom I like to have the news on for a few minutes each day so I’m up to date on what’s going on in the world. I watched lived tv and saw hijacked planes crash purposefully into the two towers in New York City. I’ve visited New York City more times than I can count, both for business and pleasure. When I watched the towers collapse in the news, I could barely believe what I was seeing, and yet I could, because the Bible says these kinds of things will happen because of the evil hearts of people. If I had the ability, I would go to New York right away to help with the rescue effort, which is ongoing. I wonder about the many lives lost as I received a phone call from a friend who was almost in tears because of this.


This is what the LORD said to me: “Go and buy a linen belt and put it around your waist, but do not let it touch water.” So I bought a belt, as the LORD directed, and put it around my waist. Then the word of the LORD came to me a second time:
“Take the belt you bought and are wearing around your waist, and go now to Perath and hide it there in a crevice in the rocks.” So I went and hid it at Perath, as the LORD told me. Many days later the LORD said to me, “Go now to Perath and get the belt I told you to hide there.” So I went to Perath and dug up the belt and took it from the place where I had hidden it, but now it was ruined and completely useless. Then the word of the LORD came to me: “This is what the LORD says: In the same way I will ruin the pride of Judah and the great pride of Jerusalem. These wicked people, who refuse to listen to my words, who follow the stubbornness of their hearts and go after other gods to serve and worship them, will be like this belt completely useless! – Jeremiah 13:1-10 NIV

Oh crap

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. – Revelation 6:8

And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were slain for the word of God, and for the testimony which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, 0 Lord, holy and true, dost thou not judge and avenge our blood on them that dwell on the earth? And white robes were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their fellowservants also and their brethren, that should be killed as they were, should be fulfilled. – Revelation 6:9-11

And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the mighty men, and every bondman, and every free man, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb: For the great day of his wrath is come; and who shall be able to stand? – Revelation 6:16-17

Courage to stand alone

It was a morally dark night Babylon – darker than your work-place, school, or community. King Belshazzar had willfully blasphemed God by desecrating the sacred goblets looted from the temple in Jerusalem. Now Babylon and Belshazzar were about to face God’s judgment. Yet in the midst of this gross darkness shone the light of a single witness – the prophet Daniel. Because of his reputation as a man with “the Spirit of the Holy God” (Daniel 5:11), he was summoned to interpret the mystifying message on the wall. daniel could have softened God’s warning to give it a meaning the king and his court would rather hear. He could have omitted the part about judgment and death. But instead of muddling the message to please the king, Daniel remained true to God. Standing alone before Belshazzar and his drunken court, he boldly spoke the whole truth. It took enormous courage for Daniel to do that, but the threat from an earthly king was nothing compaired to his allegiance to the King of heaven. Daniel feared Belshazzar so little because he feared God so much. When we share Daniel’s heavenly perspective, we too will find that God gives us the courage to stand alone. ‘In need of strength, we melt into the crowd And find that strength grows more elusive still; Our courage gone, we call upon the Lord And find our strength renewed to do His will. – Gustafson


Its so difficult to get all the moving done. ONLY because I am doing so many other things at the same time. I remember when I moved here. I had become a christian months before and my family (who were muslims) kicked me out. It simply wasnt
possible for an on-fire christian to live with trying-to-be-on-fire muslims. Actually, my family simply moved, and I just found out a right before. They never told me, I just overheard them talking. And I said “we are moving?” And they said “no, we are moving, u are not coming, goodbye”.


I was at the store today looking for a popsicle because I just had a good jog at the track. Well, instead I saw these candies call tamerinds and I remember that its a delicious candy so I got that instead. Now, I ate the whole box and my tummy hurts because of all the sugar. This indian family I know makes the most deliciuos curry which they pour over a really good rice. They got me a bag of the rice, and I wanted to make it just like them. I’ve managed to get the rice close, but the curry was more difficult. I basically put together a bunch of spices in water and tried to make curry, but I ended up with watery brown stuff. I still tried.

I was thinking of all the funny yet annoying things I will miss when I move.
– mice
– telemarketer calls
– Kids poking their heads at my tiny windows and yelling “afaf, afaf.”
– The landlords children banging on the side door yelling “asees, asees” all day long while their mom laughs and talks on the phone.
– And finally, and probably the MOST funniest, well u see I think there is a problem with the water pipes upstairs. Although these houses are pretty new. Well, when someone turns on the water upstairs, it makes a very huge and funny trumpet-like farting noise. This is very funny to me. But it happens when I’m on the phone, and I’ve had to explain it too many times. And I am used to it, so I sometimes dont notice it. But I’m sure whoever talks on the phone with me does.

What new things will I enjoy?
– A brand new, unlisted phone number.
– Sunlight splashing on my face in the morning. Sunlight. Mmmm.
– Not having to purchase new plants every 2 weeks because the old ones keep dying.
– Drinking tea on my balcony with my friends.
– A new floorplan
– All new furniture (yep, im leaving it all behind.
– Learn to swim
– Learn the guitar
– Take singing lessons
– Keep growing!
– Cool ministry

“kaboom!”. Maybe you’ve heard an orchestra that ends the peice with a giant roar. Thats Selah! Selah also means ”There!, what do you think of that!!?”.


No sleep. No energy. Feeling drained. A burden on my shoulders to heavy even to cast. Went to the park. Its still dark. I came home and just lounged around till 930am.

Got money, got a plastic bag and put my stuff in it. (I don’t own a suitecase) Got my sisters friend to cut my hair (shave it down to almost nothing). Showered, shaved, etc, etc, 330pm, drove to Ottawa.

HWY 401, HWY 37, lost the radio stations. Just replayed my australia hilsongs tape which is so chewed up now.

HWY 7 (beautiful scenery) Including an old abandoned inn called “Sleepy Hollow”. HWY 417…
Welcome to Ottawa…
Ok, my map only goes this far…so now I’m lost.
Drove around for like an hour and finally stopped for directions.
Alot of the roads were blocked.
I saw a sign for church and went in (9pm).

Sat near the back. The sanctuary was majestic. This church is actually in an old catholic cathedral with 3 story ceilings, extensive stonework and stained glass. It looks like it’s 1,000 years old. Shan! My college buddy. We are in the same classes but we’ve never met before. Only talked online. We talk, I meet her friends including Gangin who is the childrens minister.

The 5 of us (Gangin, Shan, Me, Brent and Megan) went out to a restaurant to eat. This is something I rarely do. I ordered the shrimp plater thing with mashed potatoes vegetables and salad. I got into a heated discussion with Gangin about my church taking the bus around and picking up children for Childrens Church without signed waivers from parents. Sorry Gangin, I get a bit abrasive sometimes, but you know there is no ministry without risk and liability. And when you do inner city type ministry, most of these kids have no parents to sign wavers and their social workers and local police are grateful we take them off the streets for a few hours.

I forgot to book the hotel room in advanced, drove around for about 30 minutes and on Kent Street I saw the beautiful Ottawa Marriott. Checked in room 619. and got into bed, 330am. up at 630. Tired. But cant sleep. Went downstairs to the hotel store and purchased a tooth brush and toothpaste and postcard and map.

Ordered breakfast. Re-aranged the furniture in the hotel room to suit me. Ate breakfast. Showered. Got this soft cloth thing and was going to rub my face with it only to read “SHOE SHINER” doh!! I through it back on the counter :)
Used like 5 of the very soft towels. Checked out. Got into the car and called Ottawa RP to get help with directions (I learned my lesson about getting directions). Got to church 30 minutes late! DOH! Service was typical.

Drove to Laurier. Parked on Blackburn. Walked up and down all the streets. This was my prayer time. Praying, for hours. My feet hurt. My heart aches. It was sunny. Then it was rainy. I went to a nearby park and sat on the swings just praying and singing for a while. It started pouring. Hard. I didnt bring a change of clothes for this. Got in my car, and began to drive home. The drive home was lonely and filled with agony.

Done for now

It’s funny how I can be unappreciated working a job for so long and then when I leave – I’m begged back and everyone wants to know why I left.

Dragon seeks its path

may their path be dark and slippery, with the angel of the LORD pursuing them. – Psalms 35:6

It’s not so bad


When a good relationship breaks up, it’s agony for a while, and then it’s okay. There are always fun memories and painful memories and thinking “what if”. In the end, it’s not so bad. During the month of May 2001 I wrote a number of posts regarding collapsing relationships, I’ve erased them.

It’s not so bad.

Bread Sticks

I decided to eat a ‘vegetarian’ dinner in my friends honor.
I went to the store to get a veggie slice (sorry that’s all I could think of on such short notice).
While the slice was warming in the oven, I called over to the guy.
‘Do you have any bread sticks?’
He replies; ‘what? i put the veggie in the oven’.
I repeated myself, and he repeated himself…this went on for 4-5 times. English is supposed to be Canada’s official language.

Ok so its not the most interesting journal entry but the main thing was I ate some veggie stuff in my friends honor, making me the best friend ever.

This Is My Desire

This is my desire,
to honor you.

Lord with all my heart
I worship you

All have within me,
I give you praise

And all that I adore,
is in you

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone,
every breath that I take
every moment I’m awake,
have your way in me.

This is my desire,
to honor you

Lord with all my heart,
I worship you

All have within me
I give you praise

All that I adore
is in you

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I’m awake
have your way in me.

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
every moment I’m awake
have your way in me.

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
every breath that I take
every moment I’m awake
have your way in me.

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
every breath that I take
every moment I’m awake
have your way in me.

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul
I live for you alone
every breath that I take every moment I’m awake
have your way in me.

One of my favorite worship songs. Umm…I guess I have a couple favorite worship songs.


1: to suffer a usually dull persistent pain
2: to become distressed or disturbed
3: to experience a painful eagerness or yearning

Good memories

I was remembering some of the fun times I had over the past few months…not just 2001 but also in the last part of 2000.

I remember the time I was walking to my moms house and a van started speeding towards me with its tires screeching…making me go ahhhhhhh. Only to find out it was 5 of my very good friends who have fostered over 130 (yeah, one hundred and thirty) children and currently have 9. They were playing a joke on me. And when you’ve raised that many children’ you do need an outlet, I’m glad they had good brakes :)

We had a good laugh about my ‘near death’ experience and they gave me a ride to my moms house in their mini van. I was also thinking about this large prayer assembly I went to a good while back, in which churches of all denominations were invited to pray for each other and different important issues. I sat beside 2 young girls from our church (sisters). (i forget their names only because there are so many children I can’t remember all of their names no matter how hard I try.

We had a full 2.x hrs to pray and I asked one of the girls if she wanted to come with me to walk around the ultra massive Toronto church building and pray for people with me.
She was nervous and asked me to teach her how to pray. This is something you NEED to teach your children to do. It seems like these days the kids now how to bully, beat up, steal, lie, and so other bad things but they lack good skills like reading, math and praying.

She took my hand and we went around the church praying for dozens of peoples needs.

Oh she was so happy and she didnt want to let me go, I think she held my hand most of the night. I’m soft hearted for stuff like that.

I was so happy to know I had helped to plant the seed of prayer in her life. I never did see her again though, her family moved far away :(

I’m wondering how shes doing.

I wonder about all of the children of my life. Most seem to remember me even when I don’t remember them, and some do not remember me even though I remember them so well. But
I love them all so, so much. Sometimes I’ll be at Westwood Mall or Woodbine Centre or Square One and the parents will say “Hey Asif, do you remember my son / daughter so and so?” It’s amazing to see them growing and doing well. It’s a bit embarrassing when I don’t recognize the child or the parent :)


Wow, my new razors are sharp.

I lossed a bit of blood shaving. :) Maybe I prsesed to hard..hmm..this puny boy is getting stroner! I also switched to Dove soap. If I only I had a girl to impress :|

I’m so busy I can’t keep up with anything anymore

I’m so busy I can’t keep up with life. Wake up, push food down my throat so I can get some nutrition, hurry off to work for 9, get off at 430, hurry to school, get off at 8, hurry over to church, get home by 10pm, and this 6 days a week.


God did not promise days without pain.
Laughter without sorrow, sun without rain.
But He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Dont stay on the humps to long. Move on.
When you feel down because you didn’t get what you want, sit tight and pray. God is thinking of something better to give you.
You cant make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.
What the heart gives away is never gone…it is kept in the hearts of others.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risks.
The measure of love is when you love without measure.
In life there are very rare chances that you’ll meet the person you truly love and truly loves you in return.
So once you have it don’t ever let it go. The chance might never come your way again.
It is better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride.
Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take their place.
– unknown author

Prayer Rally

Friday we had a cool time at a large Toronto church. The drive was a bit long but about 1,000 of us gathered from different churches and denominations to pray for causes such as pastors, children, youth, marriages, family, unsaved love ones, healing, political leaders, revival and more. It was excellent and I think we should do it more often. Even though these kinds of events are usually one time, I had 2 young proteges (aged 6 and 8 approx) who I was teaching to pray. The only downside was that it was only for 2.5 hours. A bit short for such a fun event. The time flew by because it was so much fun and it’s nice to spend time with people who we only see when we are doing community events together like handing out food and supplies to Toronto’s homeless or working in soup kitchens or food banks together, and the power of God was working in our hearts as usual. Time for sleep!