Disappointed At Myself

Disappointment. I sit here at my desk and stare out the window. I can see the Westwood Mall, Petro Canada gas station and hundreds of people going about their lives. Around 9am, 11:30am and 3pm I see thousands of school children of all ages walking by, talking, laughing, fighting, crying. Black kids calling each other n****** and drug dealers trying to gain new customers.

I’m also trying to gain new customers which isn’t easy in a hurting economy. People are trying to scale back not scale up.

Anyway I’m just in a state of limbo in some important areas. I feel like I’m moving along really well in some areas like my spirit life, my schooling. But my work life is the same old crap. I’m the most frustrated with myself I guess.

Extra Extra! Giant Black Guy Scared of Malton

I was walking to the mall last night over that dangerous bridge that takes you to Food Basics and a huge black guy was on the phone talking to his girlfriend and saying “baby you know I gotta be careful, this is Malton”. My goodness, if he has to be scared of Malton, what about the rest of us?

Seriously though you should not walk around after dark, nowhere is safe in this town after dark. On the bright side I fit right in here and I’m familiar with everything. I know where guns are sold, even grenades. Suppressors are special order. Drugs, protection services, special services like forged paperwork. I’m familiar with Malton. I’ve had some interesting conversations with familiar faces. 10 years ago people would offer me goods and services and instead I’d invite them to church, and some would tell me to get lost and some would say yes. I think there was one night when I saw more than 30 firearms handed over to police at a youth service at church. This generation is different though. Invite one of them to church and they’ll point a firearm at your face and threaten you. It’s not as easy these days.

On a brighter note, there’s still something beautiful about Malton. I grew up here from around the age of 7 or 8 to my 20’s. I like walking down Etude Drive during Autumn, from one end to another. It’s beautiful and peaceful for the most part.

Cocaine and cocaine related problems

If you live in Malton, you will at some point be exposed to drugs. Probably weed by grade 6, and harder drugs by high school. Girls will get introduced to drugs earlier, because boys use drugs to get sex from girls in high school. Girls do drugs to impress boys, it’s a vicious cycle, plus add in the fact that there aren’t as many fathers and mothers as their should be and everything is crazy in this country. I mean we live in a great country but we are allowed to kill innocent babies but we aren’t allowed to kill baby rapists? Is there any wonder so many people do drugs?

Anyway, when I was around age 14 my friend Steve and I walked up and down Airport road, applying at every single place for a job. We were well dressed and walked for hours, pretty much an entire day down one side of the road and up another side. Airport Road becomes Dixon Road after a while, we walked further than that!

We applied at offices, gyms, even Hooters. We applied to several Mcdonalds. Steve used to make home made popsicles and sell them in his townhouse complex and I had my small businesses running as well, plus an idea for a game called goodmitten, it would be a better version of badmitton. We just really needed steady employment because of our life responsibilities.

It was rather obvious that nobody was going to hire us because we were young, and although I had a small business at the time it wasn’t bringing in enough money to support my needs and family.

Steve then got an offer to deal acid / LSD on Goreway Drive near Brandongate and he asked if I wanted in. We talked about it for about an hour. The money was a big draw, you could make several hundred everyday just in a small area, the territory would be protected for us so we wouldn’t fear gang wars. We decided to sleep on it, and the next day concluded that neither of us would do it, we would just try to be successful in business and try even harder to get jobs. We must have applied at almost every Mcdonalds in Mississauga and Brampton, possibly some in Etobicoke as well.

What kind of drug dealer would I be? I’d give away the drugs for free, and to those who couldn’t pay. And if I made a profit it would go into missions work. LOL. I’d be the kindest, gentlest drug dealer in Canada – and probably the quickest to die and the most made fun of.

You see drug deals take place here, especially at the schools. People aren’t generally shy about it, and a lot of people are armed. Systems are in place to prevent getting caught. If you want to buy a small amount of drugs, you go to a local high school, you can get any drug in a high school. I’m surprised there aren’t more video cameras and police officers in high school.

I’ve actually witnessed a massive multi million $ drug bust but I can’t talk about it here, plus the details are fuzzy anyway.

Anyway fast forward to today, Nathan and I were in my old Neon, the car was in park, but on, and a drunk man in a van, who was driving too fast anyway, hit the backside of my car going in the opposite direction. He got out of his van, stinking of booze and started yelling at us that us youngsters do too much “crack cocaine”. I assured him that I have never had involvement with the stuff and felt good of my clear conscience.

Goreway Drive Adventures

If you live in Malton, you will have adventures by simply walking the length of Goreway Drive. I don’t recommend that you do this at night though, you will be assaulted. Still safer than Darcel Ave at night, lol you’ll get shot at or stabbed and definitely robbed!

Back in I guess 1996 I went to this dinner party hangout thingy, I don’t know how I ended up there because I really don’t go to these kinds of things. As far as I remember, a girlfriend forced me to go. It was so beyond boring. While I was there I was introduced to someone in the same work field as me, and I said “oh it’s nice to meet a competitor and colleague.” I was a teen at the time, and he was a man in his late 20’s early 30’s. He laughed at me out loud and said something along the lines of “ha ha ha you think we are in the same league? I’m competing with X (list giant corporations here).” I was really embarrassed about this because everyone laughed at me when I was simply trying to be respectful to the man.

Several years later Steve and I were walking south on Goreway Drive to get Mcdonalds and I crossed paths with this same fellow. He saw me and looked to the ground and tried to keep walking, but I stopped him because I wanted a quick stop-n-chat. It had been several years now and I wanted to hear about his many great successes because I had several successes under my belt also.

Unfortunately not long after the 1996 incident, his company took a nose dive. Lost all their money, their office space was repossessed, everything gone. No big deal, I’ve been there. Most people have.

A few days later I received a notice that I could purchase out some of the assets which would help to alleviate this persons bankruptcy. But I declined, after all, we really weren’t in the same league.

Also on Goreway Drive there are men looking to have dates with other men, it’s really weird to be propositioned while simply walking down the sidewalk. If you go to like, Brandongate Drive there will be pimps selling out underage girls, and if you go to Morning Star pimps will be selling out older women (there are sometimes lineups of 10-20 ladies, they don’t even try to hide it) but on Goreway there will be older men who will say “hi want to go get some coffee? or “want to checkout my new car?”.

Now Goreway Drive has many of the major stores people go to, not just the mall but also gas station, convenience stores, fast food stores and misc. Have you ever gotten offered a job dealing drugs, or moving drugs just by walking down the street? I have, on Goreway drive. And many others have been offered as well. (of course I never accepted, and I’ve never been involved in the drug trade in any way). Now when you decline such a job, you have to do it with finesse, or you can get shot. It’s not unusual to see a tactical unit with shotguns drawn or one person pointing a firearm at someone else.

Just the other day Nathan and I were walking towards Etude Drive when we saw a man pointing a gun at a girl, we both ran towards them (because we are both insane) but before we had a chance the girl got into the mans car and they drove away. Typical Malton BS. It was white people to, so for those of you reading thinking that it was black people, not this time :)