My New Car Is Held Together By Duct Tape And I Don’t Care

March 10, 2008 by

Yayyy. I have a car. Well, if you can call it that. Friday I went to south Mississauga and picked up the car, and when I got to the dealership a massive snowstorm started, making about 30 – 45cm of snow. Just my luck. The car is clearly a fixer upper. It’s being held together by duct tape and the former owner obviously didn’t take care of it as evidence of the banana peel under the seat. The car is 10+ years old and it shows. It’s not going to last forever but I’ll spend time cleaning up and fixing up as much of it as possible and use it as long as I have it because I am extremely and completely grateful for this blessing.

Saturday I woke up and did my chores, I missed the missions convention because the roads were awful with snow. Also my car wouldn’t start hahaha.

Sunday morning I woke up, we boosted my car, I went to walmart to do some errands, I came back home, did some chores, went to lunch where I got to meet my cousin Francesca, I didn’t get to talk to her cause my sis (who makes friends easily) talked the afternoon away with her and I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, even though I was sitting at the same table. I might as well have been invisible.

After, we drove sis home to Waterloo and Dana and J met us at her apartment and I finally got to introduce everyone to each other. This is the thing, so many important people in my life haven’t met other important people in my life and I think it’s always going to be that way. Maybe it’s better that way. J told us about his adventures as a missionary in Indonesia. When I got home I made a money order for my storage payment which is overdue and dropped it off, then I went back to moms house to get food they were giving me, which I’m extremely grateful for during these hard times. When I got home my roommates were having a heated fight over toilet paper. Toilet paper that I purchased.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With:

Asif The Monkey

March 10, 2008 by

Shan’s husband asked me to help her get a job so I’ve been going with her to different places recommending her. Tonight she came home and told me about a job she applied for on her own, she said it like this: “Asif, they wanted a reference so I wrote Asif the monkey.” I laughed at her and told her that they would not hire her for that very reason.

They did hire her though, they thought it was hilarious.

Filed Under: Family, Friends Tagged With:

Different Kinds of Tanks

March 4, 2008 by

The economy is really tanking. So many people and companies are going bankrupt. Telephones numbers are disconnected, websites are down. Employees no longer on site. The news is bad everyday.

Filed Under: work Tagged With: ,

Nice To Get A Smile In Here And There

March 3, 2008 by

Gramma told me that she used to drive a car a long time ago, like in the 50’s. Yes, my gramma used to drive a car. And she told me of such adventures as the time she drove the car (standard transmission) up a hill and it was stuck sideways and people had to push it back on the ground, and the time she drove it into a ditch. She says it in such a carefree way I’ve never heard her talk before, and when she talked about it she sounded as if she was 17 years old again, with hopes and dreams and possible romances to look forward to. I guess that’s where heaven comes in, God’s restoration of every good thing that He first created for us to enjoy, the things that on earth are fleeting – are eternal in heaven.

Filed Under: Family, memories Tagged With:

Thank You Nice Black Lady

February 26, 2008 by

I forgot to mention that about 2 weeks ago I was walking home from some evening prayers and a young black lady asked me if I could move her car for her. See the snow had piled up all around and there was a nice snow fall happening and she was parked in the last parking spot on the end, near the recycling bins. It’s difficult for anyone to back out and be able to exit from that specific spot when the weather is bad. I was glad to do it and glad she asked me, a complete stranger. She told me that several other people passed by her but she stood there waiting to ask someone she could trust.

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Power Tools Make Things Easier

February 21, 2008 by

I installed a bathroom fan yesterday and I feel great because of that. A bathroom really isn’t a bathroom without a bathroom fan. In fact I’ve been without a good bathroom fan for at least 6 months.

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The Phone Rings Every Hour On The Hour

February 4, 2008 by

Saturday around 2am the phone rang. Mom got back from the Dominican Republic, when they got home, there was a message on their answering machine that shook them. The previous Monday, Freddy’s mom, 82, had a heart attack and died in her home. We got ready for what I thought was the funeral, however the lady, Franca was buried on Thursday. We visited the crypt where she was placed in a wall covered with marble. I saw Freddy and sis for the first time in like 10 months, time sure flies.

Last night I went to sleep at 5:30pm and woke up at 7am. Of course one of my annoying housemates was banging on my door around 7:30pm and my other housemate (Shan) was calling me repeatedly around 10:30pm. I can’t catch a break here, everyone needs me for something.

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I Can’t Even Spell Mucondalds

January 16, 2008 by

Last night I fell asleep at 7:30pm and woke up at 10:30pm. I was in a mellow mood so I took a prayer walk around Malton. The McDonald’s isn’t in service right now, it’s undergoing extensive renovations. So is the 241 pizza. I came home around 11:30pm and watched “American Pie” for the first time. Scratch that off my to do list. Then I went to sleep and woke up this morning for work. I’m in this bizarre mood. I’m sure part of it is depression which I’ve been struggling with for the past few months.

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Ever Had A Bad Year?

January 14, 2008 by

I was cleaning my glasses yesterday and I accidentally broke them, so add this to my list of problems.

Filed Under: Life

Continuing

January 7, 2008 by

Sheesh. So much stress my eyes are constantly twitching. I think it’s just too much all at one time, and nothing working at all. Nothing. On another note I’m already in the 6th or I think 7th book of the Anne of Green Gables series (Anne of Ingleside). She has 6 children and the story has become darker compared to the light hearted comedic original. I read that Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote the books after her own life and she struggled a lot in her latter years. Sheesh.

Filed Under: fasting Tagged With:

The Circumcision of Asif Zamir

December 31, 2007 by

I remember it vividly. I was 4 years old. It was Guyana, South America. I was living at my grandmothers house which was built in the 50’s for $500 USD. The house sat upon tall stilts because the rainy season would bring floods that would wash away houses and farms. Several of our neighbors houses were washed away and were simply piles of sticks they lived in. You could walk clearly under the house, which was dirt floors. Red ants would crawl up your legs and bite you hard, it would hurt. I like to ride my tricycle which was from the city dump. My uncle made 2 wooden rear wheels for it because we couldn’t find the wheels when we took the trike. We had lot of chickens and a goat. Once in a while the neighbors cows would break into our property and scare me, mooing loudly. Wild South American foxes and dogs would get in our property and kill our animals. More than one were killed with an ax.

One day I was minding my own business playing, and I was invited inside and asked to lay on the bare floor, which I did with a giggle at first. Then 2 cute ladies held me down, each one holding both an arm and a leg. The doctor (I would hope he was a doctor) removed my pants and underwear and grabbed hold of my wiener. That’s when I started to panic. I mean I really started to panic. I tried my damn hardest to get free and run away but they had a good grip on me. I even threatened to beat the women up. I tried making up an excuse that I needed to go relieve myself. For the life of me I couldn’t figure out what this guy was trying to do to me. Living in Guyana, in our town, part jungle, part farmland, you had to become street smart fast. People would be killed in the street and bad things would happen all the time. Kids would be killed or go missing walking to school in the morning.

You could pay a hit-man $200 USD to kill someone, far cheaper than the rates in Canada. I saw a lot in Guyana. But I had never seen anything like this. The doctor (I really hope he was a doctor) circumcised me. I felt the initial cut and screamed probably as loud as I ever remember screaming.

No pain medicine, no anesthesia. Not even a comfortable bed to lay on. When he was done I was to tired to fight. I went to sleep or fainted or something. When I came to, I got up and walked around in severe pain. What the hell just happened? I was minding my own business, living my life, doing what I do and all of a sudden I’m in this brand new situation.

Fast forward to today and I don’t remember the circumcision as a negative event, but a positive one. The doctor (I no longer care if he was a doctor) did a really, really great job. I remember the pain, and the suffering and lack of hope and it helped to mold me into a man today. This is exactly how I feel today. I wake up, have my bible time, prayer time, worship time, I go to work, run my errands, go to church, come home and eat dinner, do my prayers and go to sleep. I’ve acted with good will and in good faith towards everyone and yet all of a sudden, I’m in this brand new situation. Everything that can collapse has collapsed in 2007. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong for me in 2007.

This year I worked everyday. I pushed myself harder than ever. I put in at least 1,000 hours of useful volunteer work. I reached hundreds and maybe thousands of precious souls for Jesus and participated in a small handful of quality missions projects that saved lives. I did the best I could, but it wasn’t enough. Church ministry went well, but work was a nightmare.

If I told you every bizarre event that happened to me in previous years, you might believe me because there were logical explanations for each situation.

But this year there are no logical explanations. Everything that can go wrong in life has gone wrong. Loss of money, friends, even self respect. In December of 2005 I had less than $400,000 in debt and a decent income. Today as I write this I’m in $3,000,000 of debt and my income is almost $0. None of my clients can pay me, there is talk all over about a deep recession worldwide. I’m suffering from a slight depression that I’m sure will catch up to me and kick my ass.

And yet in a way, I’m moving forward as planned.

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. – Exodus 14:15

Filed Under: children, Family, Friends, Life, memories, ministry, work Tagged With:

Jesus Sets Slaves Free

December 21, 2007 by

Last night grandma told me that she used to work for wealthy families in Guyana, cleaning their homes and taking care of their children. I remember being a child and visiting her at these homes, seeing her scrubbing clothes against a wash board and smiling at me. Any way when she saved up enough to come to Canada, one of the wealthy folks heard about it and responded “SHE is going to Canada?” and my grandmother was very hurt over it, it was discouraging to her. It was as if they believed that the poor should always stay poor and the rich should always stay rich. Actually that’s what they believed because it was part of their religion.

More than 25 years later grandma saw her at the mosque here in Canada. When she saw the lady, she approached her and gave her a hug and a kiss. Grandma went on to tell me about the many families from Guyana that she knew who were born wealthy because their parents left them an inheritance, and how sad she feels that our family, our entire bloodline has had no inheritances at all. Maybe because of me, our inheritance can be Jesus.

Filed Under: Life, memories Tagged With:

December 18 2008

December 18, 2007 by

Sometimes the person I hate the most in the world is myself.

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Frustrated Everyday

December 17, 2007 by

I find myself frustrated – at myself. If everything is going perfectly something crazy happens. A few nights ago at 3am my printer turned on it’s own and started making noise. Then one morning at 4am the neighbor put on his alarm clock so loud that it woke me up to.

I missed church this week for like the first time in 3 years. Bad bad bad.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With:

Extra Extra! Giant Black Guy Scared of Malton

December 12, 2007 by

I was walking to the mall last night over that dangerous bridge that takes you to Food Basics and a huge black guy was on the phone talking to his girlfriend and saying “baby you know I gotta be careful, this is Malton”. My goodness, if he has to be scared of Malton, what about the rest of us?

Seriously though you should not walk around after dark, nowhere is safe in this town after dark. On the bright side I fit right in here and I’m familiar with everything. I know where guns are sold, even grenades. Suppressors are special order. Drugs, protection services, special services like forged paperwork. I’m familiar with Malton. I’ve had some interesting conversations with familiar faces. 10 years ago people would offer me goods and services and instead I’d invite them to church, and some would tell me to get lost and some would say yes. I think there was one night when I saw more than 30 firearms handed over to police at a youth service at church. This generation is different though. Invite one of them to church and they’ll point a firearm at your face and threaten you. It’s not as easy these days.

On a brighter note, there’s still something beautiful about Malton. I grew up here from around the age of 7 or 8 to my 20’s. I like walking down Etude Drive during Autumn, from one end to another. It’s beautiful and peaceful for the most part.

Filed Under: Fun, Life, memories Tagged With:

Anne of Green Gables

December 7, 2007 by

Sis told me that she read the 9 books of the Anne of Green Gables series 10 years ago! She would have only been 11 years old. I’m 28 and I’m just now reading them. That girl never ceases to impress me. I don’t know why I packed the book, of all the important things I took with me, I guess I accidentally threw it into a garbage bag and brought it with me.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: , ,

I need $1

December 6, 2007 by

I need to backup my files but I don’t have $1 to buy a blank CD. I need a new toothbrush. I need a haircut, I need to buy a razor, I need to add money to my prepaid cell phone account, I need to pay about, 100 (no exaggeration) bills, totaling about $2,800,000.00

But for right now my concern is that $1 to buy a CD to backup my data. Whether it’s $1 or $1Million, if you don’t have it, it’s all the same.

Filed Under: work Tagged With:

We are where we are

November 28, 2007 by

I find that even though I am where I am in life and other young adults are where they are in life, we each have our own struggles, blessings and challenges. We share some of them, and have some that are unique to ourselves. I’m not that different after all.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With:

Stabilized

November 19, 2007 by

My days have stabilized after 4 very terrible and hopeless months. I wake up, jog, eat breakfast, do my prayers, bible time, worship time. I work hard all day, do a workout, eat dinner, relax, go to church or just watch tv.

Grandma and I have good chats lately. She tells me one of her favorite shows is Pastor Joel Osteen, and that several women at her Mosque watch him.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With:

Laying Here Staring At the Ceiling

November 12, 2007 by

I packed up my things and by 1pm I was in a taxi with all my stuff, all my worldly possessions headed to Malton. I moved my stuff in, setup my bedroom and went to sleep. I had trouble sleeping the first night knowing that I’d have 3 other room mates.

Sunday I setup my desk and then took the bus over to a charity fund raising dinner for Rwanda. Which was way better than I expected. We had great food, a buffet, we got to hear some talking and see some dancing.

One of the young ladies gave a testimony in the Rwandan language (we had an English translator) about how her dad was crucified, her mom and siblings burned to death in church. Yup, some people don’t like Christians.

It lasted from about 2 – 5pm. That’s when I started helping with the cleaning (I live for stuff like this). Anyway we cleaned up the hall, and then moved onto the most dreadful task – the kitchen. It took us from 5pm to 9pm washing and drying and putting away dishes, cutlery, pots, containers and a whole host of miscellaneous things. It must have taken 15 of us to do it all and one reason I really like doing things like this is because I can talk to people about Jesus. Some people need a mic and stage, not me.

Andrew and his sister gave me a ride all the way home, I really really appreciated it. I got home and I relaxed, I was really happy all things considered.

This morning I woke up, went over to the mall, I got the internet and tv setup, got a bit of work done and now I’m getting ready for church.

Filed Under: Life, ministry Tagged With: , ,

Multiplication Has To Start Somewhere

November 8, 2007 by

I got $10 for my broken computer a few days back and I used the money to ship out a router which I got $28 for. I used the $28 and loaded it on my prepaid credit card to buy some online advertising. The online advertising has generated $300 in business so far. I only need a few more million, lol. Seriously though I’ll use the $300 (minus bread and margarine) to earn some real money so I can get myself together. Also my short term lease here is just about over, I have to figure out where to go soon.

Margaret is getting married. She told me last night. She’ll come back from South Korea in December, live on the West coast for a while, then back to the East Coast to live with her bro for a few months, then in May 2008 she’ll be a wife. Congrats my friend!

Filed Under: work Tagged With:

Gorgeous Girls Make Everything Seem Better

November 1, 2007 by

So Tuesday morning my 20gb hard drive crashed, after 5 years of good service. The data loss will set me back a few months, so add that to the years behind I’m already set back. I was so frustrated trying to backup my data. I took the parts to a pawn shop a few km away and got $10 for the parts. I purchased a $170 used computer with a 40gb hard drive. I spent the rest of the day getting it all setup.

I could barely get out of bed yesterday, I was to depressed. Anyway I got out of bed, did a spot of work and then prepped to entertain many children for Halloween outreach. One thing I’m proud of, I’ve kept up all my church related responsibilities during this time, although I can’t take on anything new.

I was running late and since it was for kids, decided to treat myself to a taxi ride. I’ll deduct the money from my food budget. My taxi took a long time to arrive, and when he came, he knew he was in the drug production district. He wasn’t an idiot. He took a good look at me before he let me in the cab lol. He was the chattiest taxi driver ever. He had a British accent, was white and kept asking me questions about technology – I have no idea what to tell him. Finally at my destination he was writing down notes about what mp3 player he should buy and writing down things like “ebay” and “paypal”.

Anyway, I got to the house we were doing a halloween fun night for kids and it was way better than I expected. I handled the fishing game, but there was also a bouncing castle, other games, cotton candy, hot dogs and other treats. It was fantastic. We gave away 400 bags of candy and probably entertained over 1,000 adults and children combined.

The highlight of my night was finally getting a chance to introduce myself to Breanna, a super gorgeous girl I saw last year and have been waiting to talk to. Also I found out that I’ve been calling her Rachel for over a year. She wasn’t impressed. Her mom introduced herself and asked me what I do for a living, and I realized that they wouldn’t be handing over their daughter’s hand in marriage to me at this stage in life, being that I’m pretty much a homeless bum with 2 pairs of clothing and no prospects. Still though, gorgeous Christian girls can make things seem a lot better than they are. I felt like a million bucks just chatting with her.

After we were all done for the night, around 11pm I walked a long way to the bus station, waited for over an hour for the bus. When I realized there probably wasn’t a bus coming out this way I started the long walk home. I’ve been doing a lot of walking, my feet have been sore for weeks, they are covered in blisters and sometimes bleed.

Filed Under: ministry Tagged With:

Everybody Here Is Involved With Drugs, Even The Dogs

October 29, 2007 by

First week in this new place. Not bad. Noisy guard dogs barking, loud children jumping upstairs. I said “thank you Jesus, better a noisy child than noisy crackheads”. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a drug heavy area. Security cameras on everyone’s house and everyone has a security dog. There is lots of crime and lots of drugs where I am. I keep reminding myself that it’s temporary and a step up from where I was. To clarify, I’m currently in the neighborhood that produces drugs for sale, and before I was in the neighborhood that purchases drugs for use. I guess one is better than the other for now. And yes I fully blame the fact that we kicked prayer and God out of the country for this. The fact that Canada has these kinds of issues is mind boggling.

I’ve just started watching this new tv show called “Dexter”. It’s so fantastic, I watched 17 hrs of it over the weekend which isn’t something I’ve ever done before. I’m sleeping on the floor and enjoying it. God bless.

Filed Under: Fun Tagged With: ,

I Guess Anything Is An Upgrade At This Point lol

October 23, 2007 by

The constant sirens, the constant cars and motorbikes honking horns and revving their engines, the crackheads yelling at all hours. The crackheads asking for all of my spare change WHICH I AM LIVING OFF OF lol, the crackheads just…being there, doing suspicious things. There was an ice fight in the hallway at like 3am again, people knock on my door offering $5 sexual services. One girl might have been 14 and on crystal meth. That’s what happens when we kick God out of the country.

At 10:30am I picked up the keys to my new temporary apartment. It’s a super tiny little studio apartment and it’s only for a few weeks. One of the staff here said she would miss me, I talked to her about Jesus every time I saw her. I can honestly say my room has been left in better condition than when I got here.

My new apartment was super filthy but beggars can’t be choosers. It was like 10,000,000 roaches were the previous tenant. I borrowed a vacuum and it picked up 2 full canisters of dust and 1 canister of mouse / rat droppings. I put on a new toilet seat because the current one was covered in poo when I got here.

Monday I woke up to work. I had caught the flu early Friday. Monday night it was pretty bad but I took 2 tylenol, showered and went to church. I haven’t shaved in a while so I look kind of unkept.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With:

I’ll Laugh At This Later On

October 16, 2007 by

I’ve been frustrated with myself this whole year, but for the first time in my life I can honestly say I’m frustrated at God a little bit.

I’ve given everything to Him and His cause. I show up to church 2 hours early every time, I stay late to help clean up. I’m in church 5 times a week. Since 1997 I’ve been a champion for the Kingdom and I feel as if I’ve done my part over and over and over, and I’m now waiting on Him, and He’s really running late. This whole year has been one big pile of crap. And I’m keeping the faith and still believing God that He will keep His promises. On the bright side I’ve involved myself in so many great missions projects that I still have good news coming in from all over the world about hundreds of lives being saved and healed by God. But what about me?

Filed Under: fasting Tagged With:
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